ecole modele

So today was my last day of teaching at CEG II after three ridiculous weeks. It's hard really to describe, but if one were to try to imagine what it's like. I walk into a classroom, there are about 90 students, 70 dudes and 20 girls or so. I say "Good morning class," they say "Good morning teacher," I say "How are you today?" they say "I am fine." Then, I proceed to attempt to teach them important English phrases like "Mr. Creakle was famous for beating" interrupted only by beaucoup de students who arrive late and try to clap their way in, the other kids standing outside the windows watching/talking to the kids in class, the fights that almost break out, you know. I really love teaching, and it's just a lot of fun talking to the kids and explaining things, making a fool out of myself basically and it's so cool when they do understand some things. But classroom management issues frustrate me completely because I feel really uncomfortable dealing with disruptions to my class especially when the parties involved are double my size. So I try to ignore them, but that doesn't get me tons of respect. It's weird too because at home I had no problems yelling at kids, but here it just seems more intimidating. Today actually the kids clapped when I closed the door after some kids ran out of the room to see a fight and I didn't let them back in. Totally hardcore of me.

But I gave a test on Tuesday and Wednesday in my classes on the stuff I taught over the past few weeks, and the test was far from difficult but only 20% of the students actually passed. (Passing is a 10/20.) The highest grade I gave was a 17/20, and it's not like I tried to grade especially hard, the questions were very straightforward one word answers. Plus, I didn't even take off points for the kids who were cheating, and there was a lot of that (they failed anyway.) It's sad to think that no matter how much it seems like they are learning and how much they actually are enjoying the class when it comes time to give the test, it just hasn't stuck. But I do think/hope that it will be somewhat better at site where my students will have time to get used to the way that I teach/the kind of tests that I give. My favorite test I received though was just an (anonymous) piece of paper that said "Je t'aime. I love you. I love you." 20/20 for sure.

Since today was the last day, though, I talked to my students in French about life in America and about myself. It was a lot of fun, and I gave out my address (everyone wanted my cell # but I declined on that one.) Actually, it was really cute because this one boy gave me a letter he wrote (in English!) asking me for help buying books. Of course, I can't do that, but still, he wrote it in English!! One of the hardest things for me is how people are always asking me for things/wanting to hang out with me, and it's just impossible to help/be friends with everyone. I'm far from rich, and yeah maybe I could afford to buy one boy a Go for English book, but where does that end? And constantly people (men especially which brings up more problems) are inviting me to do things...have dinner, hang out, whatever....or just giving me their phone numbers. And I don't want to be rude, but I can't be friends with every single person I meet. Plus, women and men aren't just friends here so it doesn't work on that level either. The other problem is the issue of reciprocity because whenever someone helps you, they want something in return. This man who sold me some fabric the other day decided he would help Steve and I buy food in the market today without being asked and proceeded to follow us around. And he was genuinely concerned for our well-being, he kept trying to keep us away from thiefs, but we didn't even ask for his help. Then he demanded that Steve give him 2000 CFA ($4) . It's hard because you have to learn not to be nice to everyone.

On the other hand, one of my favorite things are the children who wave to you as you drive by or walk by. And not just children but everyone is so friendly. Kristen and I have been walking around N'Djamena a lot and now there are so people we pass all the time who we are practically friends with who we always say Salaam Alekum to. And in Darda, I love being able to walk around and everyone knows me and I can stop and talk to anyone. And the little boys and I play catch with the frisbee and football at the same time, it's amazing. At site, I know I will get to have even more fulfilling relationships, and that excites me even as I'm really freaked out about being "alone" for 2 years.

And I think that's it for the day. Happy icky shopping day in the US! Glad I missed that...